Tainan

Headed South

Cheapskate that I am, I searched Airbnb for a place to spend a couple nights for under $25/night. I found such a place —a single room in someone's fifth floor apartment (no elevator) in the southern city of Tainan. My ultimate destination is further south on the island of Liu Qui off the southern coast of Taiwan, but it seemed sensible to check out this city, just to……check it out. 

I took the high speed train south (Google says it goes at 285 to 300 kms/hour)  Google says these trains travel at a few kms/hr slower than the ones I took in Spain. The service is as efficient and clean as you would expect from anything in this efficient and clean nation (hah, take that Xi Jin Ping). Wouldn't it be grand if California joined Taiwan in the 21st century? The train skirted the city center so I boarded a pleasant local train for the trip into town. Twenty-two minutes later I was at the next step in my Google itinerary, but my perpetual stupidity reared its head again here. 

I had forgotten the glitch in my Airbnb account. For some reason reservations made on my laptop do not show on my phone. To combat this I had prudently had my laptop email the directions to my room so that I could access them on my Samsung. Silly me. 

Out into the heat I walked. After some confusion I sought the #19 bus which would bring me within a five minute walk to my digs. I asked a lady at the bus stop what the fare would be. Almost immediately she thrust a $100 note into my hands and counseled me on taking the bus. I could not convince her to take the money back! And so I strode into the doorway of the #19 and bid her a bewildered goodbye.

The last leg was a five minute walk to #145 Songhu Road, which I traversed deliberately as the sweat coursed down my face. #132; #138, #141…..then #145. All that I saw was a blank door with a ringbox close by. Nothing denoted this as a place for a wandering tourist, but I persisted. I rang the bell. No answer. I rang again, a bit harder. No reply. I repeated this fruitless quest for nearly five minutes. I tried scowling at the door hoping some passerby would enlighten me. {“Oh, that’s just the old lady upstairs. Be patient, she will respond.”) The conclusion was inescapable. I was at the wrong place. 

I returned to my phone and reentered the address shown on the directions. It directed me a block away. I followed the blud Google dots, and found myself at a hostel – nice but not what I was looking for. 

The heat did what heat does, it tormented me. (“Why hadn’t you been more careful in your preparations for this trip? This is what you get for your incompetence.”)

I returned to the corner near #145. A crowd of locals was eating at a sidewalk restaurant. I noticed one young guy sitting with his family. He seemed like a nice victim. “Do you know Songhu Road?” I asked him. (He didn’t, though it turned out Songhu was ten yards behind us.) He searched on his phone and pointed to the real Songhu at my rear. 

“Just turn left there,” he gestured. “My phone says 145 is on the next block.” 

I thanked him copiously and, with my hopes reestablished, trod in the indicated direction.

#133; #139; #141; #151………..My spirits crashed. Any sensible person would now text my host, but, of course, the directions I’d emailed to myself contained no contact info. I considered accepting a loss on the three nights I paid for, and simply finding another place. But I was too cheap for that. 

I returned to my victim. There were mandarin characters on my directions. Maybe he could read these and unravel my puzzle. I timidly asked if I could bother him ONE MORE TIME. What a liar I am. 

It is complicated to explain, but the gist of the story is that I was soon part of a cavalcade of folks (my victim, his smiling wife, and his two small children) wandering the streets and alleyways near Songhu Road. The breakthrough came when I was able to use his hotspot to access my real directions on my laptop. That eventually got us to the true place. The whole gang led me up the five stories (my victim carrying my heavy backpack!) to my destination. When we got to WeiWei’s abode (for this was my rental) my victim chatted with my host, explaining all the confusion we’d navigated. WeiWei looked nonplussed but she smilingly invited me inside. 

Please remove your shoes,” WeiWei remonstrated as I strode towards my room. I was already a bad boarder. On the couch was a young girl of about 12. She and her mom (i.e. WeiWei) were apparently snuggled together watching TV when the nitwit Airbnb guy appeared. She showed me the spartan room, just a bed, a bureau, and an air conditioner. I collapsed on the bed and rested for an hour. 

WeiWei turned out to be a kind, motherly, single woman of about 40 who was apparently trying to make ends meet by, in part, renting the downstairs bedroom to strangers like me. 

I spent some time touring the neighborhood that evening. I badly wanted a beer. After some twists and turns I located a Sapporo sign on a restaurant window. I slithered inside hoping to find some fish or some kind of vegetarian fare to sustain me. There was no English anywhere so I was helpless as far as menu-viewing was concerned. It only took two minutes for me to realize that the chef (working in the middle of the restaurant) was dishing out raw meat. But, dammit, I was desperate, so I sheepishly asked if I could have a beer — just a beer. They looked at me quizzically but consented to my heresy. I quaffed down the brew and returned to my (5th floor, no elevator) residence. 

The next day I decided to walk from my (5th floor, no elevator) room to the sea. It looked to be about an hour’s walk. In retrospect any sensible person would have found an efficient way to cover that distance, something like a city bus. I could have entered my SIM card phone number into an app and used the bicycle sharing system. But I walked. It was HOT. There was no wind. There was little shade. I lasted three hours. I made it to the sea where I found a tall, impenetrable fence. Nearby was another road leading further toward the ocean, without a tree or anything else capable of providing shelter from the sun. 

Exhausted I fled back home on a city bus. I turned on the air conditioner and hibernated for the rest of the daylight hours. It was Sunday so there weren’t many businesses open but I managed to find a sushi place that evening to cap off my Taiinan experience. Next day I would need to navigate to Liu Qiu.